August 2007
16 posts
Vent
God bless your Democrat soldiers, and congratulations to you for demonstrating the Democrat gift for non-sequitur. It’s permitted to have an opinion on the war even if none of your loved ones are fighting, Gorebot. (Brian, ignored by Vent Guy, 10/13/06)
Isn’t it ironic? We’re about to send Michael Vick to jail so he can
convert to Islam…right after he finds Jesus.
(Brian, Submitted 8/28/07)
Please, Your Honor, don’t send Michael Vick to jail. Anything to keep
him from converting to Nation of Islam and having to listen to Louis
Farrakhan go on and on about him.
(Brian, Submitted 8/28/07)
To the unspeakably rude, drunken old crone who yammered through the
Richard Thompson concert in Athens Tuesday night even (especially)
after I politely asked you to quit: if I thought you were capable of
embarrassment at your own behavior, I’d send in a Vent about it.
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, but I felt a lot better after sending it, 10/24/06)
Goodbye, 96 Rock, hello XM Radio. You don’t honestly think I was
listening to you for anything besides the Regular Guys, do you?
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 10/25/06)
Those little labels on apples? I eat ‘em.
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 11/7/06)
Christopher Rude? Usually when somebody’s not funny, I can at least
figure out what they’re doing that they think is funny. Rude is his
own perplexing breed of not funny.
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 10/26/06)
You’re certainly entitled to like whatever you like, but insisting
that it be called a limerick when it doesn’t have the proper rhyme and
rhythm scheme is just stupid.
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, after a particularly egregious round of
“limerick” submissions from other venters, 11/8/06)
Can we set up a guideline: if your feet are the shape and texture of a
rutabaga, don’t wear the ultra-pointy shoes? Uggh.
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 11/15/06)
Drive to Cordele or Vidalia to pay $400 to ride a train to Savannah?
WHERE DO I SIGN UP???
(Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 12/27/06)
Vent
Is it safe to turn on my radio again? This morning WSB played the Roaming Gnome, Ovaltine, and Mattress Factory commercials in succession and I’ve been listening solely to CD’s ever since. (Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 1/9/07)
Vent
I’m always reading about carjackings “turned bad,” where somebody ends up dead. Why won’t the AJC print the good news? Just once I’d like to open the newspaper and read about a carjacking that went well. (Brian, Submitted to Vent, Can’t recall outcome, January 2007)
Vent
This is your brain. This is your brain on pot. Hut one! Hut two! Hike! (Brian, Published in Vent, Submitted 1/18/07)
Vent
Hey, kid, I speak McDonalds-ese. I know that “the shake machine’s not working” means, “I don’t feel like cleaning the shake machine.” (Brian, ignored by Vent Guy, 2/12/07)
Vent
Sheesh. I suppose every western that doesn’t feature a tragic gay love story from now on is going to be labelled “pre-‘Brokeback,’” huh? (Brian, Ignored by Vent Guy, 6/28/07)
Rumination
Sometimes I wish I didn’t know all the things I didn’t know when I was a kid. Then I think, hey, maybe I already don’t! (Brian, Published in Ruminations, 2004 or 2005)